Empty

I feel so empty right now. Nauseous. Devastated. Horrible. We came home from a birthday party and had big plans to watch a few Dexters. Until we couldn't find the remote due to a two year old. "Go look in the garage and feed the dogs too" I told Drew. 5 minutes later all I heard is an awful yell and I heard him running up the stairs. 

My Shady is dead. Our beautiful boxer princess who we have had for 9 years years. My eyes are burning. I'm pretty sure I popped a vessel in one from crying so hard. I feel awful because she was all alone. Poor Mia was in there with her, what happened? Did she lay down to sleep and pass away? Was she in pain? what was Mia doing while it was happening? She was fine this morning. She was running around barking at the dogs next door. I'm so confused. I should have been there with her.

Life has changed so much since she was a puppy. I feel like I didn't have a chance to love on her the way I used to because I'm so busy with everything else. I hope she knew how much we loved her. 

Shady was such a good girl. When she was little she was a complete terror. She ate everything. One time she ate a whole box of BBs! At our old house she brought our sprinkler into the house while it was on. We were downstairs putting the sheet rock in the basement and all the sudden there was water running down the stairs. We went running upstairs and all we saw was Shady happy as can be chasing the sprinkler in the middle of the kitchen. It wasn't too funny at the time but a few hours later it became one of our favorite stories to tell. She was such a doll. 

I'm so sorry that I wasn't here for her. I pray that she passed peacefully in her sleep. I'm truly going to miss my pretty princess who let me paint her toes and was always a shoulder to cry on. Please keep Mia in your thoughts because I know it's going to be rough for her with her best friend gone. 

I'm so sorry Shady. I love you lady and I'll miss you forever. 

 

Birthday time!

Today is A-mans birthday! I can't believe he is two years old. I made another month to month picture decoration and it amazes me how much he has changed in the course of a year. He is so so smart and handsome. I need to start taking even more advantage of the days I have off to spend all my focus on him so I can soak up all of his beauty. It hurts my heart that he is two but I'm thrilled to see him develop and grow.

For his birthday this year we did Toy Story theme. It's a little over the top obnoxious but hey.... I don't give a shit my kid is now TWO!! Ill post some pics later. But here is one now for your drooling pleasure ;)

New what?

It sure has been awhile since I wrote down my personal thoughts for the Internet world to see. My ass has been working like crazy! Luckily since the holidays are over I have been getting off earlier and now I have time to blog.

The new year is always a fresh start for most people. As for me I really just want to stay on track with what I'm doing now. So here are my goals for the new year...

1. Continue taking charge of health. I've been really good lately and I have actually lost 16 pounds in the last few months. I would love to lose another 15. But I'm not setting myself up for a "by a certain day" type of plan. I just want to gradually do it and feel all around better. Which I WILL.

2. Go to church more. I love church and for whatever lame reason I think of that Sunday I seem to be skipping it more and more often. I think my problem is I hate going alone. The thought of sitting in that big ass pew by myself makes me snuggle deeper into my blankets and say F it.

3. Get A potty trained. I don't quite know what technique I'm going to use yet but he will be trained by summer.

4. Do some 5Ks again. Last year I did 3 5Ks which was pretty awesome. This year I'm already signed up for the Ogden Marathon so that's a go, and I want to do the foam run again for sure and possibly one more.

5. Have more girls nights. Gasp! Heaven forbid I go out on the weekends without my kid and my husband! It seems like I rarely hang out with the girls anymore. Well, lets be honest I don't really have many "girls" to hang out with anyway. But still the few is us need to have so girl time to talk about our weight, makeup, and our husbands. Oh and drink some adult beverages.

6. I don't know yet. I'm sure I can make up some random shit to insert here but I want to only make goals I can keep.

So there you go, my goral a for everyone to see. Ill keep you posted on what happening as I do it!